ACTION THROUGH COMPASSION : A DAY IN A LIFE OF A SUICIDE HELPLINE WORKER

 

As the last assignment, I was wondering whom to contact and connect in these tough times. I did not want to revive someone’s memory of a painful process and leave them later to brood in it. That was my first idea of being compassionate. Be mindful of my action and take into consideration the feelings of another person.

I defined my idea of compassion as being empathetic rather than sympathetic, trying to understand the other person’s emotions, their thought process, and not to judge their actions negatively.

I lived a full day of compassion on 20^th August 2020. From the morning to the last person I saw in the evening I was very much conscious about my behavior patterns and how it is affecting others. I smiled, waved, greet our hostel security guard, the lady who comes to clean my room and try to talk to them. It was very surprising that how they respond so positively with bright smiles and ask my well being in response too. My day started with great spirits. As the day progress, I visited one of the suicide helpline centre. The idea of how suicide helpline works were out of my knowledge. I met one girl whose name I will keep anonymous for privacy purposes. She was my age and is working in the NGO for the past two years. She willingly shared her experiences with me. I listened and posed some curious questions to her for knowing how she cope up with all kind of calls and what is the procedure?

She told me that during the lockdown there were a lot of calls to her about the women suffering from domestic violence, teenagers facing violence, and all kinds of people calling about feeling depressed and with no will to live. As per her experience, it is sometimes tough hearing them out, as we are also facing challenges in our personal life. Some things reminded her of her own experience and usually, the protocol is there on how to deal and respond to these calls. But it was equally important to understand that they were humans, and their problems and thoughts are going to continue after that phone calls. It was important to her to make sure that she can provide as much assistance as possible.

Several other helpline workers joined our conversations and they all had some motivation to join the helpline. Their own experiences with violence, struggle with mental health had to lead them to this job. They talked to me about why I was interested in knowing all these and I truthfully answered that it is under assignment but now I feel is worthy of here.

After the fruitful day and hearing all the experiences they shared, I was surprised and slightly abashed that how much misinterpretation I have about suicide and its relation. Suicide is a complicated phenomenon and multiple factors work with it. I used to think they it is something that weak people do, but after hearing all these and talking to multiple experienced helpline callers, I found out that it is really hard to overcome the survival instincts just in one day. The pain and happiness come and go and this balance and see-saw gets irritating after some time and pushes people deeper into finishing it all off for once.

People who have survived suicides know that they are loved and sometimes they usually self sabotage their attempt of taking their own lives. Sometimes with tunnel vision and without talking to someone, suicide is the only way that comes to their mind to escape from it. Mental health issues are one reason but inner turmoil and congested mind, as well as delay in seeking care without being stigmatized all, are barriers. Those who survive their suicide attempts sometimes do it again and again until they finally succeed.

I found these all out after talking with one of my close friends whose sister committed suicide a few years backs and she also tried to commit suicide after that incident. I did not know her then but I was aware of this incident and decided to reach out to her.

My day of compassion was very helpful in talking and understanding their talks and process It slowly without giving any knee- jerk reaction. Apart from my friend with whom I am usually compassionate, people did notice my different behavior. Some assumptions were that I was having free time again and not stressed out with school work, some did not notice but it was liberating.

My other friend who lives with me in the hostel was surprised and thought I was sick as I was behaving nicely. As I am usually hard-headed and speak the truth without sugar-coating it and ask people to take the blame for their action. Now I was trying to transition from the blame game to understanding their thought pattern.

After having these experiences I have seen the positive impacts of compassionate behavior. Analyzing my patterns and realizing my own mistakes and thought process it was exhilarating. The violence of any type comes under the picture after we lose sight of how another person is feeling and become self-centered. I will practice being more compassionate in the future and talk to my friends and family as well as being a public health students will continue to research and spread more awareness about how violence persists and how can we eliminate it. In the future, I want to work with behavioral science and apply behavioural changing strategies to the preventive methods to protect from the violence of, especially the Intimate partner type. Thank you for reading this so patiently.